This question is one that many believers ask at some point, especially when feelings are involved. Someone might seem kind, respectful, and even supportive of your faith, yet not share your relationship with Christ. It can be difficult to know what to do when your heart is drawn to someone who does not believe.
The Bible gives clear guidance on this topic, not to limit our joy but to protect it. God’s design for relationships flows from His desire for our good and His glory.
What Does the Bible Say?
2 Corinthians 6:14 says,
“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?”
The image of a “yoke” comes from farming, where two animals are joined together to pull in the same direction. If one moves faster or wants to go another way, they both struggle. In the same way, if a believer and an unbeliever are joined in a close relationship, their values, goals, and spiritual direction will eventually pull them apart.
This is not about looking down on anyone but about recognizing that faith in Christ changes everything. A relationship built on two different foundations cannot grow toward the same spiritual goals.
Why This Matters Spiritually
When Christ is not the shared center of a relationship, deep spiritual unity is impossible. For believers, faith influences how we handle conflict, make decisions, spend money, and raise children. If only one person follows Jesus, there will always be tension over what guides the relationship.
God calls His people to marry “in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 7:39). That instruction applies not only to marriage but to dating, since dating is meant to prepare for marriage. Entering a relationship with someone who does not share your faith often leads to heartbreak, compromise, or a slow drift from God.
Common Questions
“But what if I can lead them to Christ?”
It is good to want others to know Jesus, but romantic relationships are not the right setting for evangelism. Your role is to be a witness, not a missionary in a dating relationship. Let friendship and prayer be your starting point rather than romance.
“What if they respect my faith and promise not to interfere?”
Respect is wonderful, but true partnership in life and marriage goes deeper than respect. It requires shared purpose, values, and spiritual direction. Two people moving in opposite spiritual directions will eventually face difficult choices about how to live and what to prioritize.
Guarding Your Heart
Proverbs 4:23 reminds us,
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
Attraction and affection can make it easy to overlook spiritual differences, but wisdom calls us to protect our hearts before emotions run deep. God’s commands are not meant to take away joy but to keep us from unnecessary pain.
Before pursuing any relationship, ask:
- Does this person encourage me to love God more?
- Do we share the same view of faith, marriage, and purpose?
- Will this relationship help me walk closer to Christ or distract me from Him?
A Better Way Forward
If you find yourself drawn to someone who does not share your faith, pause and bring your feelings before God. Talk with your pastor or a trusted Christian mentor. Spend time in prayer asking for clarity and courage to obey Scripture, even when it is hard. That’s not going to get us more users to our Ruth & Boaz app, but it is sound biblical advice.
The best place to find godly relationships is within a healthy local church, Christian community, or even on Christian dating apps. When you are active in your church, serving and growing in faith, you will naturally meet others who share your love for Christ and your desire to honor Him.
Final Thoughts
Christians are called to love everyone, but dating is reserved for relationships that can lead to godly marriage. God’s plan for dating and marriage is not about exclusion but about protection and blessing. Choosing to date only believers may seem difficult in today’s culture, but it is one of the most loving decisions you can make for your faith and your future. God honors obedience, and He will provide the right person in His time.
If you are waiting, take heart. Use this season to grow closer to Christ, deepen your roots in your church, and prepare your heart for the kind of love that reflects His faithful, selfless, and steadfast.
Want to Strengthen Your Relationship?
Download the Ruth & Boaz app to help you and your significant other grow closer together and closer to God.
